On Preparedness and Raptor Balls

Pop Quiz Monday!

Since it has recently come to my attention that dinosaurs may, in fact, be living somewhere nearby we need to be prepared.

This really can't end well.

I have seen at least 2 of the Jurassic Park movies. (Something tells me I have seen 3, but for the life of me I can' recall the plot. I bet there was dinosaurs in it though.)

First, I guess I will need to give everyone their guns back. Sorry for taking them away. I didn't realize dinosaurs were making a comeback. We will definitely need weapons to fight these dinos. Although, instead of simple rifles I think we should all have rocket launchers. What could possibly go wrong if every citizen was armed with a rocket launcher? Not much!

Second, we need to learn to recognize dinosaurs when we see them. The dinos that are out there now are stealthy. They have been hiding for like, 65 million years. That probably means they are probably dressing up like us and hiding in plain sight. Your neighbor could be a fricking T Rex and you haven't even noticed. Get to know your neighbors and if they are a dinosaur call the police. Let the experts handle this. (Rocket launcher are not safe for neighborhood use.)

Lastly, take this quiz to learn how ready you are for hand to claw combat. At my current preparedness rate I am projected to last less then a minute. That is not even enough time for me to set the scope on my rocket launcher. It appears the key to defeating raptors according to this quiz is to take up wrestling, martial arts, and ball kicking.

I think there might be a flaw in this recipe for raptor defeat though, in that I am not sure if raptors have a ball sac to kick. I have never seen a bird or a reptile with a ball sac so I think dinosaurs might not. I have never really checked though.

I am 99% sure female raptors also lack a sac so ball kicking will probably do nothing against them.

Hopefully following these steps will help us all get a little better prepared for the upcoming rapt(or)ure. Good luck everyone.

Created by Oatmeal

On Dinosaurs and Young Earth Creation

Pop Quiz Monday!

Okay. So if you read my facebook page you know that lately I have been freaking out over people that truly believe the earth is only like 6,000 years old. Private secular studies estimate 10% of Americans believe this and biased studies estimate 40% of Americans believe this.

Trying to wrap my mind around how people believe this hurts my head. Seriously. To me, these people might as well believe the earth is flat and leaches suck diseases out of people.

My freaking out started out when a group from a local church handed me a pamphlet on a near by private school. Since I like to know all my options for my childrens' education I read the brochure. The first thing that struck me was that they only let girls participate in home ec. The brochure indicated it was taught from a Godly homemaker prospective. Um. That right there crossed them off my list. I don't need my daughter thinking woman can't work if they want to, and I don't need my son thinking woman are his servants.

There was more that knocked the school further and further from my list, but the nail in the coffin was that the school teaches from a young earth creation"science".

Sorry that is not science. Science is not a series of myths made up to explain your world. That is pretty much the definition of religion. Science is not forcing made up evidence to kinda sorta fit your ideas. If you want to teach young earth creation that is fine, but please call it religion or myth, not science.

To quote They Might Be Giants, "A scientific theory isn't just a hunch or guess. It is more like a question that's been put through a lot of tests. When a theory emerges, consistent with the facts, the facts are with science."

Young earth creation? Not consistent with the facts. Like at all. Or even a little.

So for pop quiz Monday we are all going to take a Young Earth Creation Quiz.

Here is a young earth creation point you might want to remember before you take the quiz: Dinosaurs were on the earth the same time as humans (and may perhaps still be hidden around somewhere).

Therefore, if you fail this quiz dinosaurs will probably come to your house and eat you.