Sunday, May 15, 2011

On Tribes and Communism

So, I used to belong to a parenting group. Some of you reading this are probably in that group or are former members. Often, this group refers to itself as a "tribe".

About once every couple months someone would lament about not living in a communal society/compound where we would grow our own food, take care of each other's kids, and sing kumbaya around a bonfire every night roasting organic marshmallows.

Does this sound nice? In a dirty hippie, don't shave your arm pits sort of way, yes.

In reality though? It would never ever ever ever ever in a hundred million years work out.

Here is what would happen if we all moved into a communist society together:

Fights! Lots of Bitching! Starvation!

Everyone likes the idea of communal babysitting. It sounds nice. It takes a village blah, blah, blah. But. Big but (and I cannot lie) there is no way every one would take turns nicely. Some would take advantage of others generosity and never pitch in (or pitch in just enough to fly under the radar), while others would work their butts off taking turns for other people. Bitterness would be seeded and cultivated as some took on work for others. Everyone likes the idea of being helped, but not a lot of people want to do the helping.

The communal farm would go the same way. 2 or 3 people would farm while everyone else gave ideas on farming. There probably would not be enough food to last the winter and then we would have to eat tree bark or something.

The bonfire would probably be well attended every night, but it would be a dangerous situation to have the embittered so close to the lazy near an open flame. Plus if we are going to have to eat tree bark it is prob not a good idea to waste it every night on a bonfire.

So there you have it. Communist living at its finest. Who wants to live with the tribe?

(To the few of you who will get bunched panties over this: I see you are upset. What feelings can I reflect back to you to make you feel better about this blog? :P)

see also: I really do love most of you. This was written in good fun. :P

1 comment:

  1. I love you so much. If bitterness was food I'd be the fattest bitch on the commune. :D