Since it has recently come to my attention that dinosaurs may, in fact, be living somewhere nearby we need to be prepared.
This really can't end well.
I have seen at least 2 of the Jurassic Park movies. (Something tells me I have seen 3, but for the life of me I can' recall the plot. I bet there was dinosaurs in it though.)
First, I guess I will need to give everyone their guns back. Sorry for taking them away. I didn't realize dinosaurs were making a comeback. We will definitely need weapons to fight these dinos. Although, instead of simple rifles I think we should all have rocket launchers. What could possibly go wrong if every citizen was armed with a rocket launcher? Not much!
Second, we need to learn to recognize dinosaurs when we see them. The dinos that are out there now are stealthy. They have been hiding for like, 65 million years. That probably means they are probably dressing up like us and hiding in plain sight. Your neighbor could be a fricking T Rex and you haven't even noticed. Get to know your neighbors and if they are a dinosaur call the police. Let the experts handle this. (Rocket launcher are not safe for neighborhood use.)
Lastly, take this quiz to learn how ready you are for hand to claw combat. At my current preparedness rate I am projected to last less then a minute. That is not even enough time for me to set the scope on my rocket launcher. It appears the key to defeating raptors according to this quiz is to take up wrestling, martial arts, and ball kicking.
I think there might be a flaw in this recipe for raptor defeat though, in that I am not sure if raptors have a ball sac to kick. I have never seen a bird or a reptile with a ball sac so I think dinosaurs might not. I have never really checked though.
I am 99% sure female raptors also lack a sac so ball kicking will probably do nothing against them.
Hopefully following these steps will help us all get a little better prepared for the upcoming rapt(or)ure. Good luck everyone.
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